The decision to give birth to your baby and then choose adoption is very difficult and often heartbreaking. You’ve carried your child for so long, and you want to ensure that your baby is happy. But that’s the problem-you’re not sure you can provide the type of lifestyle that will help your baby thrive.
You need to understand something: by choosing adoption for your baby, you are not “giving up” on your child. You have not failed. Adoption may be the best way to give your child a life full of laughter, health, happiness, and love. It’s a difficult choice to make, but consider your baby and his or her needs. Will your baby be happier through adoption?
To help you decide if adoption is best for you and your child, use our guide below. As you carefully consider every option for your baby, you may realize that adoption is the very best thing you can do for your child.
What Adoptive Families Provide
It may help you to imagine what life will be like for your child in the arms of an adoptive family. There are many couples who would like to adopt and have a child of their own to love and nurture. These people are not perfect-no one is-but they are good-hearted, kind people. They have been carefully screened by adoption agencies and have proven that they can care for your child.
These parents are financially stable, which means that they will be able to provide for all your baby’s physical needs. Your baby will never go without food, clothing, and a strong roof overhead. He or she will be provided for in every way.
These parents will also be able to provide a loving home full of support and patience. The couple will love your baby and do everything in their power to ensure that your child grows up healthy and happy. Your child will hear loving words and praise from his or her adoptive parents. You can rest easy knowing that your baby is growing up in a stable, joyful home.
Adoption is a great choice if the birth parents will be able to take care of your baby better than you could. But if you feel that you can provide everything your baby needs-a loving home, financial stability, and plenty of emotional support-then adoption might not be the best option for your baby. Talk with a professional adoption counselor and get a second opinion.
You Can Choose
Fifty years ago, birth mothers had almost no say in what happened to their babies after they put them up for adoption. Today, you would have an enormous amount of influence in your baby’s adoptive parents. Adoption agencies make it very easy for birth moms to be involved in every step of the adoption.
The adoption agency’s job is to find excellent adoptive parents. If you choose adoption for your child, your agency will help you find multiple candidates who match your specifications and who are upstanding, trustworthy citizens.
After your adoption agency has filtered various candidates, you can work with an adoption counselor to select your baby’s adoptive parents. In many cases, you can even meet with the couple and learn more about their personalities, lives, and goals. Your adoption specialist can facilitate the meetings and help you ask any questions you have.
If you’d like to stay in contact with your baby, you and the adoptive parents can work together to share photos, letters, and even meetings or phone calls. You may feel that it is too emotionally difficult to maintain contact with your baby, and that is your decision.
Because you’ll be so involved in the adoption process, you can be sure that this is the right choice for you and your baby. If at any time in the process you worry or become uncomfortable, you can stop or take more time. You want to ensure that your baby has the very best future possible, and you have the power to make it happen.
You Have Resources
Don’t forget that your baby will depend on you for everything in life: education, food, shelter, clothing, love, and care. And you have needs as well. An unplanned pregnancy could mean a hold on your education, career, and other plans. You can’t imagine having an abortion, and adoption allows you to provide a future for your baby while also allowing you to move forward and create a life for yourself.
If you decide that adoption is right for you and your baby, don’t forget: you have all kinds of resources available to help you. Your own family and friends can help you during this difficult decision. Your adoption agency and counselor will also help. And there are support groups that help birth mothers during and after the adoption process. Your adoption counselor can help you find such a group.
Choosing adoption can be difficult, but remember: your baby will have a life with loving, trustworthy parents who will love your baby with all of their hearts. Speak with your adoption counselor if you need more help making this decision. Love your baby-do the right thing.